I just want to get this out there to get a final closure on something.
I understand your reasoning for the things you did. I get that you weren’t in a great place in life when you did what you did to me. I’m not going to ever say that what you did wasn’t wrong, because it was wrong. It was very wrong, but I do understand that you did the things you did because you were in pain. I understand that you did the things you did because you were blinded by that pain and you were desperate for something better in life.
And I never said that I blamed you for making the final choice on us. I don’t blame you for THAT. I blamed you for letting it get to where it did before you made that decision. I blame you for me getting hurt as bad as I did. I know that you will NEVER understand how bad I hurt. You will never get that a person could go through SO MUCH pain after such a ‘short time’. Love isn’t about time. Two people could be together for 20 years and never love each other as much as two people who were together for a month. That is possible.
I still care about you, and I always will.. As I have said many times I still care about every woman I have been in love with, and whether or not you accept it I was very much in love with you, and I still care about you very much. But I am not in love with you anymore. Sure.. every now and then I think about us, and I have mixed emotions, but for the most part I’ve let go (yes I caught up to you it just took me a lot longer). And.. I forgave you. Even though I had no way of telling you that I forgave you, I did. Forgiveness isn’t telling someone what they did was ok, it is just letting go of the anger and resentment towards them for it.
I never used to understand forgiveness, but I do now.. I fully understand it. I understand that in order to move on you have to forgive. Maybe you should try it. And trust me, it’s not easy to do, but it can be done. And once you do it, you will feel a weight lifted off of you. Just forgive, and move on with your life.
That was the point of this, I want you to know that I do forgive you. Well, for every thing except for ruining ‘The Notebook’ for me.. I haven’t figured out how to forgive you for that yet. Someday I will.. maybe.
I once told you that if you ever needed anything I would be there for you. I meant it. If that never happens, if you never do need me, then I wish you and your little man all the best this world has to offer. Hopefully you can find everything you are looking for.
Take Care
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