In the famous words of Stone Could Steve Austin… DTA. Stone Cold says Don’t Trust ANYONE. But that’s not how I want to go through my life. I have some people I trust to an extent. It’s a small handful of people, but I don’t really trust any of them completely, but that is just because nobody sees everything the same way I do. When someone has a variance in morals or beliefs in a certain area they are going to stick with what they believe. Which means that in some situations you can’t trust them. The only person you can completely and totally trust is yourself. But that is being nit-picky.

Anyway.. I had a point, so let me try to get to it.

I always used to go into a relationship not trusting the other person. I figure, if they want my trust they have to earn it. SHOW ME that you deserve to be trusted. It is the same thing that I do. I show a person that they can trust me, I EARN their trust.

But people were telling me that having that attitude was dooming my relationships before they even started. That I have to just trust a person, because not giving them the trust right away will just make the relationship fail.

So.. my dumb ass finally decided to just trust. So in my last relationship I trusted. From the start. And all the little things that should raise a giant RED FLAG I let go. I find out she works with a guy that she had a relationship with, they spend a large part of the day together in the same office. And what do I do? I trust her.

I leave my shampoo at her place and she has a fit about it. Red flags should be going off everywhere right? Why is it a big deal? I should have been thinking that she was afraid the other guy would see it and question it. But no.. i trust her when she tells me it is just because she has issues with thinking about moving in together (Like I was really going to move in with her where she was renting when I OWN my home).

People tell me that she is going to her other job and telling people that I am nothing to her. And that she still has feelings for the guy she worked with, and I actually question her about it. But when she tells me that those people are just telling lies and trying to cause problems between US. What do I do? I TRUST HER.

Guess what happened? She ended up with the guy she worked with again. Hmm.. go figure. I mean.. how many times was I getting sloppy seconds at night? Because of other people’s stupid views on trusting first? So I say.. f*ck that! I wasn’t with her long, but trusting her allowed me to let my guard down and fall DEEPLY in love with her. And, boy.. was that stupid. Because I went through a lot of pain for a LONG time when she left.

I will NEVER again trust first. You want me to trust you, you need to earn it. And I will earn your trust. And that is something I can do.. I’m pretty good at it. I just need to find someone else who is as good at it as I am.

Which brings me to the topic of Fidelity. What is being faithful? A lot of people seem to think that as long as you aren’t having intercourse with someone outside your relationship you are being faithful. To that I laugh. If you are one of those people, then.. good for you and i hope you get with someone who shares the same views. But don’t come near me.

There are other ways to be unfaithful. There is emotional infidelity. You become emotionally attached to another person outside of your relationship. Many times that leads to you actually “cheating” in a ‘moment of weakness’. Uhmm.. no. Sorry to break it to you but you were cheating as soon as you started having feelings for another person outside of your relationship. That’s how it all gets started.

Then there are those who do the ‘harmless flirting’. They try to pass it off as ‘just having fun’. Does anyone know the point of flirting? I’ll fill you in for those who are unsure. Flirting is a way of gauging someones interest in you without being rejected. If they show you they aren’t interested you can just pass it off as ‘messing around’ you weren’t being serious. It was just “All In Fun” (Oh how many times I heard that line..)

If you are in a relationship, and you are flirting with other people, YOU are being unfaithful. So don’t kid yourself. The next time you have the nerve to tell your next potential victim that you have ‘never cheated’ on anyone. Take a little self inventory, be honest with yourself. Were you really faithful in all your previous relationships? hmmm..

You see.. if you want a person to trust you in a relationship you need to make it clear to that person that they are the only one you want. And you do that by making sure everyone else knows you wont stand for any BS from them. If someone tries flirting with you it should be embarrassingly clear to that person they better not do it again. Screw that person and their feelings. The only feelings that matter are the ones of the person you are with towards you. A simple “You do that again and my boyfriend wont have to kick your ass because they will be surgically removing my foot out of it” should do.

You don’t need to take my advice or listen to what I say here… Feel free to not earn the trust of the person you are with. Just know that if you are being unfaithful, and the other person doesn’t care that you are.. that’s probably because they just don’t care at all. And if they are ‘jealous’ it is because they do care, and you are HURTING them. So don’t worry about what I say.. Unless.. You want to be with ME. If you want to be with me. And you want me to trust you, then you have to show me that I can trust you. If you don’t make it clear to me that you don’t do those things that are “All In Fun” Those things that make me jealous, or hurt me. That’s fine, but it also lets me know that I can’t let my walls down. So don’t get mad at me for being guarded.