The other day I was talking to a close friend of mine about something I never should have been talking to him about in the first place. I should have known better than to talk to HIM about this subject, because he is biased (a fact he openly admits). Of course, it’s hard to find an unbiased opinion on this subject by just talking to people I know because the subject is one of a matter in my personal life, and of course the people I KNOW are all involved in my personal life in some way.
So anyway, as I was talking to him and he was telling me how he was right and I was wrong (I should have listened to him), he mentioned that I was outplayed. So I said, “Don’t you mean I was ‘played’? Because in order to have been outplayed that would imply that I was ‘playing’ and I don’t think I was playing!” His response- “Outplayed.”
I believe that I am the smartest person I know. By that I mean that I am the most intelligent. Obviously I don’t know more about everything than everyone I know, but I figure shit out pretty quick, and I’m a quick learner. But, I also have smart friends, and family members. I like to talk to them about things because I know that they are smart, and I need smart people to talk to because they sometimes see things from different angles than I do. Which in turn makes me look at something from that different angle (or at least make an attempt to).
So I’ve been thinking about ‘outplayed’ for days now, trying to see the angles. And it’s only made things worse. If I was ‘outplayed’, it’s happened a few times now. I’ve been ‘outplayed’ more than once, and it’s making me realize that I’m just not very good at the game. But I am thinking the reason for that is because I never realized it was a game. I’ve been heading into a game, unprepared for the game every time I do it.
Really? I mean, REALLY? OK.. FINE.. So be it. Maybe it is time to accept that IT IS a game. And once I figure that out, then maybe I can get good at playing it so that I don’t get ‘outplayed’ anymore. I’m tired of losing. I hate losing, and I guess since I just learned that this is a game, I have to accept that I have been losing at it. Nobody likes to be a loser.
So what now? Well, I guess now it’s time to get in game shape. I’m still not sure I want to accept that it’s a game, because if it’s not. And I start treating it like it is one, I will become just as bad as the people who have me where I am now, and it’s not a happy place. I’m not so sure I want to be like THEM. But, regardless if my final decision is, I need to get prepared for the game. Just in case that’s what it is.
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